Aside from not posting in a while....
I pulled into the Marathon to get gas today. It was a gorgeous morning. It snowed two days ago and the sun was just beaming off of the bright white goodness. These mornings are an immediate cause for joy.
As a child growing up I was always told that as a man you should eat your green beans to put hair on your chest and always respect women. As I pulled in to get gas, I noticed this lady walking to her Ford Expedition after paying inside. I pulled around her to get to the pump in front of her. As I got out of my car I saw her pulling the nozzle out of the holster and placing it into the tank. The I ventured over to her passenger seat. There he was. He looked squirelly, young, and had braces in his mouth. I would guess he was a freshman or sophomore in high school. He would in my mind be more than able. He took up most of the seat and I would guess he was 6 foot or taller. This is the point where I chuckled and then felt dissappointment.
Was he not told about manhood? "eat your green beans and respect women." When Carrie and I started dating, I want to say that there has been one time when we have been together that she has pumped gas. This would have been the instance when I went in to pay and she hopped out and started pumping without realizing what it would do to my self-esteem. My manhood had come into question. Was I not capable? I immediately told her that she could go sit in the car and I could handle the rest of the pumping.
Now I understand that this braces-faced kid will probably turn out just fine. However, I do think that this could raise a greater issue. I recently watched a 60 minutes report on how Gen X and Y are going out into the workforce. This is the first generation where parents told their kids "they were special." One comment that really got me was how these parents are actually talking to their kid's employers wanting to know want kind of "grade" they are getting. So braces-faced kid, is your mom teaching you self-respect by telling you that you are special? Or would she be better off telling you to get your ass out of the truck and pump the gas?
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4 comments:
Would have loved to see you walk over and share your thoughts with him...however, that behavior is allowed by mom, wh would NEVER want her child to get cold or dirty...
Dude, there is such a disconnect with what the culture pushes on teaching kids and what we should be teaching kids. Starting with spanking, 'yeah that's fine, Billy keep on screaming in the middle of the Ponderosa.' (that is whole other story)
Anyways, there are so many broken families and then families without solid male figures in our culture. Think about the men on TV, with the exception of Horatio, they are all somewhat simple and goofy and portrayed as almost subservient to women. I just hung out with my Grandpa, it was awesome because he still walks around and opens the car door for his wife and then closes it for her.
I agree, Chivalry has been lost.
I wonder what the mom would have said if I walked over and asked why he wasn't doing the pumping. You pose and intersting point jay.
mmm...Horatio...I do think that it is unfortunate that hollywood portrays most men as incompetent or disfuctional. Although, I was happy to see John McClain back in action this summer. Thanks for the comments.
I also think that it is important to understand and talk with your wife or friends to "know your role," so to speak. I don't think that knowing role or roles is a bad thing. I also think that being open to changing roles is healthy as well.
I think that some of the problem also lies with this idea that we have to do it ourselves. This causes a tremendous amount of pressure on any person, let alone a man.
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